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In the Moment

October 3, 2013

The past is unchangeable; the future unknowable.  We have just a moment, this one.  I try to plan for the future, but not worry, and trust God to work it out for good, if I let Him.  I do my best to live in this moment.  We are guaranteed no other.

Lovely platitudes, no?  Of course it’s cliché.  I couldn’t have told you last week whether I live in the moment or not.

I do.

Monday morning I was laid low by a fever, beaten and burnt from the inside out.  For two days I sucked down water, sweated it out, ached, and slept.  Debilitated.  I couldn’t remember how it felt, even last week, to be upright and strong, on the board, paddling around the bay.  I didn’t want to get outside and work a muscle.  I didn’t even want to want it.  I couldn’t imagine anything but my present, bedridden state.

Yesterday evening, I felt well.  Clean sheets and PJs to banish the sick room aura (Remember the Velveteen Rabbit?  It always makes me sad for the other toys.  I’m glad I didn’t have to burn Kiwi for staying by my side.  She’s realer than Real.) and the episode was finished.  My head doesn’t throb.  That was the last bit to subside.  I have energy.  Right this minute, I don’t quite remember how foggy my brain was two days ago, how it was impossible to remain upright for more than a few minutes, how even my blood hurt.

My hockey fins are sprawled across their gear bag, waiting for tomorrow night.  Practice recommences for us in winter hours, which I loathe.  But I have a new thermal top to keep me warmer and I love my sport and I am excited to get back to it.  Now.

One Comment leave one →
  1. October 5, 2013 12:16

    Re: The Velveteen Rabbit ~ I thought the Rabbit was burned in the end. That’s why the story made me so sad. But I looked up the synopsis on Wiki, where it said he was made into a real, brown bunny as reward for his faithful companionship. I wondered if my mother read me a copy from her mother, who seemed to find the morbid alternatives in children’s stories. A real person said the end was ambiguous; the toys were burned, but a special new live bunny appeared in the garden. I need to read it again myself. But it makes me sad. Anyone read it recently and want to spare me, vouching for the actual ending?

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